Entering the Dragon

I've arrived in Shanghai, got here yesterday afternoon after a reasonable but at the same time ridiculous journey. The flight was alright I guess, 10 hours after Frankfurt so I just read for a couple, ate my 'Beef Goulash' and slept for 7 hours. But some things pissed me off about Lufthansa and because I love holding a grudge I'm never going to fly with them again.

So I was over the baggage limit... yeah yeah I know we're all allocated a certain amount so the plane doesn't fall out of the sky but come on! I was 5KG over... now 5KG isn't much when you pick it up, you could probably pick up a 5KG weight with your little finger/tongue/penis/whatever body part that's meant to be too weak to pick things up. Had to pay excess baggage... I was predicting it, I mean I've got to live out here for 18 months so I knew I was gonna go over. I'd put all my Xbox stuff, Laptop, Hard drives.. anything heavy that could fit was in my hand luggage (probably weighed about 15KG itself). Thought I could take the hit, how much could it possibly be?!

£140

Yes you read that right

£140

£25.70 per kilo.

Of course I had no choice and had to pay, putting my reasonable £449 flight up to £589. For Lufthansa.

Apparently it's the biggest airline in the world, I can see why. It's kinda cheap (although with my baggage it was more than Emirates) and it doesn't do stuff too badly. The meal was shite, but all plane meals are (except this one I had with Air France once). But they counterbalanced that by giving you a Toblerone with it, and everyone knows that Toblerone is the best sweet out there. The attendants were alright, they seemed pretty pissed off most of the time but I guess they did shit if you asked.

What bugged me was that I was in a seat without a seat in front of me, so no TV in the back of the seat. I had a shared TV with a lovely woman from the Phillipines (she was going to Shanghai to live with her expat husband for 4 years). We couldn't change the channel, those with shared TVs just had to watch the plane slowly crawl across the map towards our destination. Now I slept most of the journey and didn't even feel the need to watch TV, but since I'd paid £140 extra for fucking baggage I felt I should at least get the same service as everyone else.

Oh yeah and what's that about? That everyone gets the same baggage capacity despite the fact I weigh under 11 stone and they let on a bunch of porkers. If I'd been wearing a harness I could have strapped 5 kilos to my stomach and said I was fat. That's an idea for next time.

In the end, I arrived in Shanghai on time. Went to the Airport shuttle buses so I could get into town and find a taxi and that's when it hit me... I'm really rusty at Chinese. Now I thought I was just a bit off my old heyday, thought maybe I'd just forgotten a few words. But when you're faced with a Chinese bus lady determined to get moving ASAP and you don't even pick out "Where are you going?" (which was like the first thing I learnt) then you know you're doomed. Fortunately there was a Chinese dude who spoke decent English who explained, but I still felt like a douchebag.

Got on the bus, which was pretty packed.. people sitting on double seats alone with bags on the other seat. I was the only white guy on there and remember, I had that 15KG of hand luggage on my back. I found a spot with a guy sitting in the aisle seat, a free spot near the window which was nice. So I said "excuse me" (I remembered that in Chinese) and he kinda just turned his legs into the aisle so I could squeeze past. Oh and he gave me a death glare too. I realized that I wasn't gonna be able to get by with this bag on, so I had to kinda launch my bag over him because he wouldn't accommodate a lady in obvious distress. Then I had to sort of climb over him, then pick my bag up so I could get in the seat, and then half decapitate him when I swung it round to my front (it wouldn't fit under the seat). You'd think this whole thing would have been much easier if he'd have just fucking stood up. Wanker.

So as I said to the Filipino woman on the plane when she asked "So what are the Chinese people like?";

"They're nice if you're paying them. Hospitality in hotels and restaurants is second to none, they seem like they actually enjoy helping you. But when you're not paying them, they're rude, inconsiderate and haven't heard of courtesy."

I'd was hoping I'd be wrong, and I was in some way. The bus lady was patient with me (but I'd paid her), the English speaking guy was nice. I was typing this up in a sort of rage thinking about that prick on the bus, but I guess out of the 2 people I'd met (and not paid) one was good and one was not.

Now I'm in Shanghai, without a job and alone for at least 6 weeks. I'll talk about hostel shit tomorrow or something, need to spread out my fun through the days.. at least until I make some friends.

Until tomorrow

PS: Facebook is blocked in China for now, probably related to the riots in the north west and wanker hippies making "Unite and protest the Chinese Government" groups on it. Keeping in contact is gonna be much harder than I thought. My blog is also blocked, so I've got to post to it through email... so if it looks naff then I apologize